A modest proposal

It's good to see folks can learn from experience ... even if they are members of the Minnesota Legislature.

A couple of DFLers -- Rep. Lyndon Carlson and Sen. Richard Cohen are introducing a bill that will keep future governors -- Republican, Democrat or just plain crazy -- from repeating T-Paw's unallotment performance from last session.

According to a piece in this morning's Strib the proposal would "limit the governor's unallotment power in three ways:

"Governors could unallot only from the part of a projected budget deficit that was not known at the completion of the last legislative session.

"Payment to programs affected by unallotment would have to be reduced proportionately, and formulas or eligibility standards could not be changed.

"The governor could not unallot mor than 2 percent of the general fund budget and could not unallot more than 10 percent of a single general fund appropriation."

In other words, no future governor would be able to take a meat axe to a budget the legislature passed and he signed to satisfy the political whim of the moment while preserving executive flexibility to deal with unanticipated fluctuations in the state economy.

Of course, T-Paw -- continuing to play his favored role as Dr. No -- has promised to veto any bill limiting his authority.

Bad for business?

No matter what T-Paw and the T-Party boys say, it looks like paying taxes isn't the only thing that's bad for business in Minnesota ... and it's not a bunch of lefty DFLer types saying it either. Here's the pertinent snippet from Tuesday's Strib:

"Moody's Investors Service lowered its ratings outlook on Minnesota to negative from stable, citing the state's ongoing financial and economic weakness.

The ratings agency also noted the state government's depletion of reserves and a heavy reliance on one-time resources to balance its budget."

It seems like Wall Street likes honest books and an adequate steady income -- and that doesn't come by playing politics with the balance sheet.

Here we go again

Well, the Minnesota legislature called itself to disorder right on schedule and we're all set for a show that should rival an all-star Three Stooges revival -- featuring Larry, Maggie and Tim.

I just draw no great confidence from observing that we have a governor who wants to be president, a Speaker of the House who wants to be governor and a Senate Majority Leader who is certain he ought to be governor. I'd feel a lot better if the whole of the state's political leadership didn't go into the session with their resume's out.

Meanwhile there's the small matter of the state budget coming up $1.5 billiion short with another $5 billion worth of red ink on the next go-round ... but who wants to bet they'll spend more time on a new stadium for the Vikings?

And so it goes...

Pa'in with interest

I suspect we're soon in for another dose of Minnesota Smug ... y'know, that insufferable Keilloresqe condescension that comes over us whenever anybody, anywhere does something more spectacularly bone-headed than we have just managed. Well, here we are ... having just royally screwed up our state budget, along comes the news that California's budget is so totally hashed that they are now sending out IOUs as payment for state debts. Yeah, there ya go -- T-Paw hasn't resorted to that maneuver. Good on you, Timmy. See ya in the White House ...
Weeeeelllll...not so fast. How these things look depend a lot on where you sit. Yeah, California is sending out IOU's, but get one of these IOUs and you can take it to the bank ... give it to the teller and the teller gives you good old American folding green, legal tender, on the spot. Or -- if you're doing fine and feeling flush, hang on to that IOU and the State of California will pay interest -- 3 percent -- on what they owe. In short, the state is paying what it owes ... plus ... holding up its end of the bargain even if Arnold and the Legislature can't get it together.
Compare that to the mess T-Paw and Maggie the K have left us with. Don't kid yourself -- the state's sending out IOUs -- $1.7 billion worth of them -- they're just going to school districts. Instead of paying what it owes our local schools on time, they're pushing it into another budget cycle so it doesn't show up on this year's books -- make believe budgeting on the grand scale. Bernie Madoff should have gone into politics.
Anyway, the upshot is, our schools don't get an IOU, they just don't get paid. Trouble is, they have bills to pay, payroll to make, but don't have the option of saying, just hold on a few months while our books finish cooking. No, the public schools have to go to the bank, take out a loan to pay what they owe ... and with that loan comes interest -- paid by the school district with money that would otherwise have been spent on teachers, books or a trip to the state tournament for a championship football team. Now, thanks to our illustrious leaders, it's doubtful they can afford the football team.
Remember, in California, the state pays interest on its IOUs. In Minnesota, our hard pressed school districts pick up the tab
California dreamin'? We'd best not get too smug, not smug at all.

Republicans' faulty Bible belt buckles

How come righteous Republicans seem to have so much trouble keeping their pants up?
Here we go again -- another crusader against vice and evil caught with his britches around his knees with a wife (his wife, at least) nowhere near to be found. This time we were treated to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's little romp on the Pampas with some little Argentine firecracker. It would appear that uncovering a little illicit activity under the covers is going to send another GOP public servant back to the private sector they're supposedly so fond of.
It was just a few days ago Sen. John Ensign of Nevada 'fessed up to getting a little on the side, and who can forget Larry Craig of Minneapolis airport restroom ill-fame. The list of the publicly righteous laid low keeps going on and on.
I guess they don't make those Bible belt buckles like they used to...

Gun nuts worthy of the name

And you thought it was just the bleeding-heart lefty civil libertarians that worried about respecting the constitutional rights of bloody minded terror suspects -- but turns out you're wrong on that one too, buppa. It seems that darling of the weaponized right, the NRA, has come out expressing deep concern that your government and mine might be do something to prevent folks who are out to kill us from getting all the guns their evil little hearts desire.
No, folks, I can't make this up. The NRA is on record with it's concern that federal legislation may infringe on the "second amendment rights" of individuals placed on the government's terrorist watch list -- created as a security measure following 9/11. "We're concerned about the quality and integrity of the list," according to the heavy-weight gun lobby -- who raised nary a peep of protest until Sen. Frank Laughtenberg proposed legislation that would bar weapons sales to people on the terror list.
As it stands, a person determined to pose a terror threat is barred from air travel, won't be issued a visa and faces other restrictions -- not among them a prohibition on purchasing, owning, transporting or using firearms. According to the Government Accounting Office, over the last five years, people on the list have attempted to purchase firearms over 1,000 times, with 9 out of 10 purchases approved -- including one for over 50 pounds of explosives.
So, we don't let them on our airplanes, we don't let them in our country, we keep a close eye on them so they don't get a chance to kill us ... with the guns the NRA is so eager for them to buy.
A-yuh -- I guess they're not called gun nuts for nothing.

Don't let the door hit ya...

So we learn T-Paw will be moving out of the Governor's Mansion in 18 months. Well, I guess we won't have to count the silverware like we did when Jesse "The Mind" moved on -- I believe they hocked the silver to pay the light bill last month.
That will be his legacy -- the state broker, sicker, poorer than when he took office. It will be hard to miss a guy who accomplished all that.
I first encountered Pawlenty when he was House Minority Leader. He struck me as an affable guy, with a politician's inability to give a straight answer to a direct question.
That was well borne out the day after he announced his candidacy in 2003 -- complete with "No new taxes" pledge. It just happened to be the same day the state revenue department announced the budget was likely to come up over $4.5 billion short. Tim dropped by for a press conference and his response to questions on the looming deficit left me certain that this was a man who cared more for his career than for the people of this state -- and over the years, by and large, he did not disappoint.
I'll make exception regarding his response to the 2007 floods, where he acted with vigor to mobilize aid for thousands of people washed out of their homes. But that compassion seemed to dry up with the floodwaters and this spring, rather than raise taxes a hundred bucks a year on his rich suburban buddies, he's willing to take health care benefits away from 30,000 of our poorest, sickest citizens.
Ahhhh, Timmy, if you're thinkin' of leavin' early, just call -- I'll help ya pack.

Unwarranteed attention

It seems that Chuck Schumer is about to sic the whole United States Congress on the dweebs who've been trying to warranty my Metro.
Several times a month for the last several months I've been getting called by a machine with an urgent tone in it's voice cautioning me that my car's factory warranty is about to expire. Now let me assure you, I've been mighty pleased with the reliable performance of my 12-year-old Metro, but it did come as a surprise to me that GM was still backing a vehicle with well over 100,000 miles on it.
So, when the machine calls, I like to stay on the line. I'm sure to thank the caller profusely for their concern. I tell them all about how happy I am with my car and what good mileage it gets and how little it cost and so on and on and on and then I start asking them about their cars and how long they've had them and ... well I've never had a conversation go beyond finding out about their personal rides. Somehow we get disconnected ... but I always try to engage the next friendly young fellow in a cordial auto related discussion. It's the least I can do, considering how concerned they are about the soon-to-lapse warranty. If Schumer's bill passes I might almost miss those conversations ... who else is going to care about my poor old Metro

A taxing situation

Right now I feel pretty good about myself. I paid my taxes today and I'm not even up for a job with the Obama administration. For most of us, settling up with Uncle Sam is about as much of a patriotic sacrifice as we're called on to make - so much as I'd rather not sign that check, it does make me feel a bit Yankee Doodley to do it.
Which makes me wonder about the folks heading out to the latter-day tea parties today. I've been getting notices and invites to these affairs for weeks -- usually done up in star-spangled red, white and blue with an eagle or two tossed in for good measure. But all these folks are intending to do is gripe that their government -- and let me say that once again, their government -- has figured to be their fair share of the operating cost for their country. So, they want to hark back to the Boston Tea Party and throw a public fit.
Well, there's a difference between the folks mailing bags of Lipton to their Congresspeople and the guys who tossed British tea into Boston Harbor in the dark of the night. Two hundred thirty six years ago, those fellows didn't have Congresspeople to send tea to -- it was the lack of representation in levying it, not the tea tax per se, that they took radical issue with, and ultimately what the Spirit of '76, Valley Forge and Yorktown were meant to set aright.
It's fine with me if folks don't like paying taxes, fine with me if they make a fuss and complain, but it's not fine to bastardize history in the process.

The plot to wipe out Mr. Whipple?

All right, I'm as fond of Mother Earth as any of her children, but the Greener-Than-Thou crowd has finally gone where no one ought dare to go. Go ahead, tell me my choice of light bulb is none too bright; than only a fat-headed lard arse would hold up the Whopper as the apex of ground beef cuisine -- that only a fat-headed lard arse would entertain "ground beef" and "cuisine" in the same thought. I can take it ... I can take a lot ... I'm a pretty doggone thick skinned fellow -- save in one place -- so any man, woman or trans-gender who gets between me and my Charmin Ultra Soft will have gone where no one ought dare to go.
But what's the latest target of environmental outrage? American toilet paper. The same folks who advocate kale flakes and wheat grass juice for breakfast are pushing for folks to tidy up after their morning duty with a recycled Whole Earth Catalog. All in the name of saving a tree.
Y'see, the toilet paper that's made American johns the envy of the inhabited universe is made mostly of virgin fiber -- fiber straight from the tree that grew it rather than recycling the newspaper that soaked up your spilled breakfast coffee. In order to make TP that's 'squeezably soft' they need long, fluffy fibers that puff up thick and strong -- making TP that's strong enough, thick enough to stand up to whatever the American diet throws at it. To tidy up what needs tidying without abrading the most sensitive section of the human sitter.
Now I'll join with anyone demanding that parking tickets and the like be made of recycled fiber, we can recycle newsprint and pasteboard boxes -- but as for the paper that really starts my day -- if it takes a new tree, that's a good investment.
I'm sure Mr. Whipple would agree.

Barkley for Senate, redux

As the political bladder-emptying contest grinds on in the courts with no dignified or satisfactory resolution in sight, perhaps it's time to take another tack.
There's no doubt now that be it Al or be it Norm who is blessed by the three-judge panel, this judicial troika's ruling will be challenged by the candidate less favored ad infinitum or at least to the U.S. Supreme Court. An expensive and tedious exercise which bodes no redeeming result.
With this dismal outcome in sight, might I suggest a reasoned and decent way out of this sorry electoral dilemma.
We were blessed with at three-way race in November and clearly the Coleman and Franken partisans have little love for their opposite number. However, it is probably fair and accurate to say that for the vast majority who cast their ballot -- disputed or undisputed -- their second choice for U.S. Senate from Minnesota was Independence Party Candidate, former Senator Dean Barkley. Barkley, appointed by Gov. Ventura to fill out the last days of Paul Wellstone's term following his death, served with brief distinction and emerged with honor and little animosity. Let me suggest that the most satisfactory outcome of the current unseemly electoral deadlock would be for both Coleman and Franken to concede, withdraw and endorse the certification of Dean Barkley -- everyone's second choice for senator -- to fill the seat for the next six years. We'd be done with it and have a senator that most Minnesotans no only don't despise, but are pretty much indifferent to. After the current debacle, that would be a good thing.

A day with no television?

Unemployment hit a 16 year high. The shooting goes on in Gaza. The governor of Illinois is impeached for putting a U.S. Senate seat on his private version of E-Bay and now the greatest crisis of all ... some folks might miss an episode of The Biggest Loser if Congress doesn't act and act quickly.
The economy be hanged ... it seems a bunch of folks haven't gotten with the program -- the digital TV program, that is -- and on February 17 their old sets are going to have more snow than a North Dakota blizzard, and not much else. It seems that, despite a law passed in 2005 (that's going on four years ago folks) and well over a year of really tedious talk about getting the $40 off coupon for a digital converter an uncomfortable lot of people remain analog and unconverted and because they haven't yet seen fit to haul their hinders to Best Buy or the neighborhood Wal-Mart store we need an act of Congress to put the whole she-bang on hold so nobody misses an installment of Days of our Lives...
Phooey.
We're talking about TV, people -- nobody ever died from Wheel of Fortune deprivation. How is it Congress is more concerned about kids not seeing Sponge Bob Square Pants than about kids not seeing a doctor? It's more important to ensure access to the Food Channel than to adequate food?
I suppose there's no real harm in letting the old analog broadcasts continue past the announced drop-dead date ... house plants won't wither and die nor will small, cute children mutate into toads ... but that's not the point. If, as a nation, we can't deal with procuring and attaching a fairly simple widget between the rabbit ears and the TV set with over a year's lead time to accomplish the same ... how can we hope to avoid becoming a wholly-owned subsidiary of Beijing, Inc.?
Best start learning Mandarin.

Time to exit gracefully, Norm

I'm not sure Minnesota voters have really spoken in the race for the U.S. Senate, but they have managed a faint, hoarse whisper and that -- especially at this late date -- ought to be enough.
For two months the vote-counters have been counting and when they finally got to the bottom of the pile -- the pile as defined by the laws of the state of Minnesota as interpreted by the Minnesota Supreme Court -- Al Franken has come out 225 ahead. That, according to the rules, makes him the winner and a member of the U.S. Senate.
Congratulations Al.
And congratulations, Norm, on a hard fought campaign and thank you for your service.
That, should be that.
But it may not be. There are strong rumblings and grumblings that Coleman will take the whole thing to court -- prolonging the uncertainty until both sides either run out of money or avenues of appeal.
Please, don't do it, Norm.
Quite frankly, at this point, I really don't care which man claims the seat in Washington, but when the new Congress gets down to business, I want one of their butts sitting in it. Minnesota's interests deserve to be represented by two votes in the U.S. Senate -- not just one. The counters counted more votes for Franken -- it's time for Coleman to gracefully step aside, get on with his life and in six years, perhaps give those 225 voters the chance to reconsider.
It would be the classy thing to do.